Mercedes Hit and Run Case- Caused by Indulgent Parenting
On 04 Apr a teenaged spoilt brat killed a young man driving a Mercedes. Manu Sharma had shot Jessica Lal. Sanjay Gandhi, son of Indira Gandhi had made a mockery of Indian democracy while he enjoyed unconstitutional powers. What is the common thread between the three characters? They are all products of ‘Indulgent Parenting’. ‘Indulgent Parenting’ is bad for the child’s future, future of the family as also the society. The lives of above examples amply illustrate the truth of the above statement. This blog analyses the problem and suggests measure to resolve the social menace.
Definition of ‘Indulgent Parenting’
Before we start analysing the topic let me define as to what is ‘Indulgent Parenting’. Indulgent parents display the following essential characteristics:
- Have few rules for standards of expected behaviour.
- If there are rules, then these are very inconsistent.
- They ignore the bad behaviour of the child.
- They give in to the child’s demand when it makes a commotion about something.
- Often bribe the child to comply with desired wishes.
Common Childhood Habits which Strengthen as Such Children Grow
Products of ‘Indulgent Parenting’ often never become mature adults, irrespective of their biological age. Common childhood habits which strengthen as such a child grows into an adult are:
- Lack self-discipline.
- Sometimes have poor social skills.
- May be self-involved and demanding.
- May feel insecure due to lack of boundaries and guidance.
Some Common Traits of Such Adults
- They are eternally seeking pleasure and are generally unhappy, because a life spent in pursuit of pleasure does not give long term satisfaction or happiness.
- Display weak willpower and determination.
- Tend to be socially immature and lack respect and concern for others.
- May fall prey to drugs and alcohol.
- Are easily put off by failures and generally prove ineffective in their lives.
Solutions for Indulgent Parents to Rear Responsible Children
- Get disciplined and organized in your life. It will have a positive influence on the child. If you are yourself spoilt then you cannot hope to guide your children. It often happens that children of such adults grow up to be responsible and mature because they see the wasted life of their parent/parents and know what not to do!
- Lay down clear and consistent limits for acceptable behaviour.
- Do not bribe children to elicit desired behaviour.
- Do not compromise/ ignore unacceptable behaviour.
- Let your attitude and actions be guided by the child’s long term benefits rather than being popular in the present moment.