Written By Havi Joshi
People with a victim mentality tend to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, the circumstances they face and the situations they are put in.
Whenever something doesn’t go as planned they are quick to feel victimized and refuse to take responsibility for the same. As a result, they prefer staying in their comfort zone, avoid self-improvement, and taking tough decisions in life. They spend most of their time fearing failure rather than working on the efforts required to be put in.
We have often heard of the following examples:
- “I couldn’t pass the exam because it was tough”
- ii) “I am, not physically fit because of my genes”,
iii) “Had I been brought up in a metro city, I would have been more successful”
The reality is that you are escaping from hard-work and facing the truth. You didn’t pass because you didn’t study, you’re fat because you are binging on junk food and you are unsuccessful because you are not willing to learn.
Let me give you a real-life example, one of my friends for a long time couldn’t improve his running. On being asked the reason he stated that he doesn’t possess the good genes of a runner as no one in his family is a sportsperson. I countered by saying, “Your father is a top government official, that way you should’ve been good with academics”. To which he replied: “No, my mother wasn’t good with academics, maybe that’s why I am not”.
Looking at the example above we can see that such people always come up ways to justify their conduct.
Very often after failing a couple of times they accept being a failure and stay contended with their destiny. They prefer being friends with people who have also failed. A good example of the same would be those who fail in math, prefer sitting with others who have also failed. They won’t prefer talking to the one who is successful as it will make them feel inferior. Getting out of this rut is very important else you’re doomed for life.
How can we emerge as a victor from a victim?
Accept and Work on Weaknesses
Don’t try to sugar-coat things and accept your failures and shortcomings.
Fat? Accept being fat and don’t say you are “big-boned” or “healthy since childhood”. Devise a proper diet and workout plan and follow it diligently.
Don’t understand Economics and Finance? Read books, videos, and newspapers.
Still can’t understand it? Read it again! Believe that you can understand it. God did not make Keynes any different from you or me.
Still, failing? Read it again, others might understand it in one go, you might have to read it 10 times, but don’t give up! Where victims see adversity, achievers see opportunity.
Change Your Attitude
We need to understand that we can’t change the circumstances, situations, and problems we have. All we can change is our attitude towards dealing with it. Losers make excuses, winners deliver results.
Focus on things that are in your hands, not those which are not!
Studying, preparing, and giving our best for an exam is in our hands. Vacancies and competition are not. Don’t waste time thinking about them.
Stay in good company
Spend time with people who are competent and goal-driven. This will also help you get out of your comfort zone.
The earlier one gets out of this mentality, the better life will become and success shall be achieved. We have only one life and we must make the most out it, because seldom it is seen that potential unexpressed turns to pain later in life!